Okay listen… I wasn’t even planning to bring the Black Friday Mystery Bags back this year. For real. I said, “Nope. I’m gonna be responsible. I’m gonna be an adult. I’m gonna protect my inventory.”
And then what happened?
DMs.
Texts.
Random people yelling across the store.
Someone at the gas station whispering, “Eh Frank… you doing the bag or what?”
Even my MOM was asking about them last year — and she wasn’t even subscribed to the newsletter. LIKE YOU. 😂
But she still got TWO.
Because island moms got admin privileges in life.
ANYWHOO
So here we are…
Mystery Bags are officially BACK.
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND.
(And by “popular demand” I mean peer pressure and emotional blackmail.)
🤣 WHAT’S INSIDE? GOOD QUESTION. I’M NOT TELLING.
These are mystery bags, not “Amazon order with tracking and full disclosure.”
But here’s what I can tell you:
✅ The $100 Bag feels like I miscalculated
✅ The $200 Bag feels like theft but with manners
✅ The $300 Bag makes your cousin jealous at Christmas dinner
You’re paying one price…
But the value inside is WAY MORE than that.
🎄 WHY PEOPLE GO CRAZY FOR THESE
Because:
🔥 PERFECT for Christmas gifts
🔥 PERFECT for off-island family
🔥 PERFECT for collectors
🔥 PERFECT for food lovers
🔥 PERFECT for people who love surprises
🔥 PERFECT for people who don’t read instructions and just add to cart
And you know it’s real because…
✅ They always sell out
✅ People buy multiples
✅ My inventory disappears
✅ My wife asks me if I did the math
✅ I say “Don’t worry about it babe we’re building community”
⏰ BUT HERE’S THE IMPORTANT PART
If you’re seeing this late… it might already be too late.
Quantities are LIMITED:
🚨 Off-island bags
🚨 Local pickup bags
🚨 $100, $200, $300 levels
🚨 No restocks
🚨 No “secret stash” in the back
🚨 No “Frank can you just make one more?”
Because the answer is:
Dispensa. Cannot!
(Unless you’re my mom. But even she has to subscribe this year.)
📨 WANT FIRST DIBS?
Email subscribers get early access before the public.
If you’re not subscribed…
You’re already behind my mom.
And that’s embarrassing.
❤️ FOR REAL FOR REAL — THANK YOU
This year has been full of love and support — pop-ups, orders, messages, laughs, videos, jokes, sharpening, blades, culture, community… all of it.
These Mystery Bags are my way of giving HUGE value back.
If you grab one:
Si Yu’us Ma’åse from me and my family.
You’re supporting a small island business with big dreams.
If you miss it:
I still love you…
But you’re gonna cry😭😂
🤙 STAY READY
Black Friday is going to be WILD.
Turn on notifications.
Refresh.
Stretch your fingers.
Do wrist mobility.
Hydrate.
Because when the link drops…
IT’S GAME TIME. and time to CRANK IT UP